Today is the start of my new life

Today is the start of my new life. I haven’t waited for a Monday or a New Year. It is today.

Wednesday 23th of April.

I am fat. I am 42 years of age. I am currently studying an MA at Winchester University.  I feel particularly stressed and worried about an assignment.

I would say that my overwhelming desire right now is to be loved, held and nurtured. I want to feel ‘looked after.’

Over the past few years I have learnt a simple truth – I cannot make my husband happy, I cannot make my children happy. There is only one person’s thoughts and feelings that I can control. Mine.

This blog is going to be about making changes to my life. I am not going to go on another diet, even though I will be changing my eating habits. I am going to change the way I think, the way I feel, the way behave.

Today’s changes. I am worried about my assignment. I spent a few hours of careful editing today and I am visiting my tutor tomorrow.  I have invested in myself. A personal trainer came round and put me through my paces. I have dealt with some worrying phone calls and letters myself. My ankle is sore, I have applied first aid. I do not need to convince others of my pain, I can look after myself. 

So my first new day hasn't been filled with rainbows and happiness, but its early days. I was quite pleased that I managed to do all the exercises the personal trainer had planned for me quicker than she expect!